travelling on foot

when i'm not in a hurry, i love walking and travelling using public transportation. i have more time enjoying myself on the journey with those.

before the long journey walking down the Mt. Rinjani

several days ago, on my off day, i went around using Transjakarta and feeder bus. i actually had my car with me and i had all the online transportation apps on my phone. it was just, i didn't feel like using them. i miss being with myself in the middle of the crowd, muting all the surrounding sounds with my headset playing my own playlist, and just reading. yeah, i really miss those commuting time i had when i was still in college.

and believe it or not, that was my first time being in a feeder bus.

so i walked to the nearest Transjakarta shelter and got into the bus right away. it wasn't their busy time (thank God) and it was really comfortable since they have the women's section. and i read happily without having to think about the traffic and all the other vehicles and all the other passengers. without a doubt, it was heaven.

(i was actually trying to stick to English, but since i'm writing this in the morning, my brain couldn't work properly. so i'm sorry for changing it to Bahasa Indonesia)

kemudian ketika saya harus turun dan jalan kaki untuk bisa naik feeder bus, saya berkesempatan untuk menghirup udara segar (ketika itu masih sore dan belum jam pulang kerja jadinya polusi tidak terlalu banyak. percayalah, ketika itu beneran segar di Jakarta) dan bukan udara artifisial yang ada dalam gedung-gedung mall. belajar memperhatikan apa yang orang lain lakukan, di mana tempat menunggu feeder bus, bagaimana cara mereka bayarnya (ternyata kayak naik bus kota biasa bayarnya, disamperin sama kenek-nya. bedanya, kita dapet print-out bukti bayar).

saya juga berkesempatan untuk bergerak lebih banyak dengan menaiki kendaraan umum. setelah saya pikir-pikir lagi, dulu saya kurus sewaktu SMA mungkin salah satunya karena saya selalu dapet kelas kalau bukan di lantai 4, di lantai 3. kemudian saya harus menyebrang jembatan penyebrangan di depan sekolah. lalu saya jalan kaki lagi dari saya turun angkot sampai rumah karena saya pelit gak mau bayar ojek. tapi mungkin ya memang karena saya dulu pelit aja sih jarang jajan jadi bisa atur makan gak terlalu banyak.

but anyway, my point is i think i will try to walk more. in my off day for sure.

bayangin nih. kalau saya naik mobil pribadi, sudah bisa dipastikan kurang lebih 3 jam waktu hidup saya terbuang di mobil tidak melakukan apapun. tanpa penambahan nilai apapun selain saya yang kadang malah jadi emosional menghadapi jalan. sedangkan jika saya naik kendaraan umum dan berjalan kaki, saya bisa gunakan waktu commute saya yang mungkin akan menjadi lebih lama tapi bisa digunakan untuk membaca buku. dan saya berjalan kaki. yang berarti saya bergerak. gak cuma duduk doang manas-manasin kursi mobil.

enak lho kalau kita pinter milih waktunya.

parallel life

Parallel.
par∙al∙lel
/ˈperə-ˌlel/

adjective
(of lines, planes, surfaces, or objects) side by side and having the same distance continuously between them.

• occurring or existing at the same time or in a similar way; corresponding.
• involving the simultaneous performance of operations.
• of or denoting electrical components or circuits connected to common points at each end, rather than one to another in sequence.

perception

has this ever crossed your mind?

while you're seeing other people talking to another stranger, have you ever had a thought of what is actually going on in their life? what are they talking about? what are they doing after this?

or when you're seeing a movie or reading a novel with first person point of view where you can only know, see and hear what this person know, see and hear. have you ever wondered what happen to the other character when the protagonist isn't with them? when the camera isn't pointing at them?

i have. not just once.

i'm curious. you know, sometimes we tend to make our problems to seem to be the biggest of all. but anyway, we can only see what we see. even for some people, they only believe what they see. and we can't see everything, can we? so, i don't necessarily blame them for that.

what i see, we are actually a dot in this world. a dot that is currently on a journey making a line in everywhere. maybe sometimes the lines are crossing with each other. sometimes they stay together for some time and then they just find another way apart. and it's not just about two dots. it's about millions of dots. including those who are even still there after they died.

hey, we're connected. in so many ways, don't you think?

7 habits

currently, i'm reading "7 Habits of Highly Effective People".

The inside of the book (+Harry Potter!!)

i'm actually not a big fan of self development books. i'm more into something light, like romance. fiction books to be more general. but never was self help books. i tried. i tried reading one of my mom's like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and stuff. but it wasn't successful in making me in love with self help books.

as i'm getting older as everyone is, i met so many people. one of them is really into self development and is always encouraging me and all of his friends to develop themselves. one of the way is by reading books. lots and lots of self development books.

at first, i thought that i will never gonna enjoy reading those genre of books. i stumbled upon Mitch Albom's books which are very lovely and inspiring and having lots of learning. i thought, those kinds of books are enough to replace the needs of reading self help books. but then, i read them only to entertain myself. i learned accidentally. and i didn't internalize what i learned.

then, i went to a bookstore, into the imported parts, obviously. i searched through the bookshelves, trying to find anything that could spark my curiosity.

and that was when i saw this book. and i never regret buying this book. i love how Stephen R. Covey conveyed the message and wrote everything on this book. reading this (and trying to implement this) is a lovely journey.

if you read this book, you love it. i know.
and if you read this book, he said that don't read it as a learner but as a teacher instead. that way, you read to understand, to implement, and to share.

happy learning!

a realization

after all that happened in my whole life, i come to realize.
no one has ever been able to persuade me into anything. it was me and only me.

it was literally no one.

i can't even explain why.

i know, my parents are always having their part in my decision making. but in the end, i feel like that no one can ever talk me into anything. it is I who have to talk myself into something. it is I who have to open my own eyes. it is I who have to make myself move. it is all because of me.

so, now, i would like to ask me a question.
what am I gonna do? where am I heading to?
I know the the answers, aren't I?

mati rasa

saya takut saya akan mati rasa.

how does the world work?

i BELIEVE that everything happens for a reason.

EVERYTHING.

tuh, kurang apa tuh sampai saya bold dan underlined dan digedein tulisannya. because i do really believe that. eventho, at the time of the event, i might not understand the reason. i might not even remember this believe. but i do.

the beautiful blurry picture

i always try to find the silver lining in every situation. even the sh*ttiest one.

bahkan se-simpel (atau mungkin se-lebay), ini:
saya pernah berpikir, bangun saya yang kesiangan hari ini, kemudian saya yang jalan cukup terburu-buru dari rumah, tapi ternyata tetap gak telat, sebetulnya adalah sedang diingatkan oleh Allah SWT. semacam "okelah hari ini kamu Saya bantu, tapi kalau lain kali masih telat ya kamu harus rasakan sendiri akibatnya". dan dibantu ini dalam artian seakan-akan seluruh dunia yang sedang berada barengan saya sepanjang perjalanan itu kayak ngerti saya lagi buru-buru. semua jalan terbuka. walaupun mungkin ada yang lelet nyetirnya, tapi selalu ada celah untuk saya bisa menyalip. dan alhamdulillah tidak ada orang-orang aneh di jalanan yang bisa membahayakan.

selalu.

saya selalu mencoba untuk membayangkan apa maksud dari semua yang terjadi. bahkan se-aneh kenapa hari ini saya bisa sampai di tempat ini dan duduk di tempat ini di waktu ini. bagaimana saya bisa dipertemukan dengan orang tertentu di waktu yang memang saya butuhkan. mungkin untuk menunjukkan indahnya saling jatuh cinta atau mungkin untuk mengajarkan bagaimana saya bisa mengangkat kembali diri saya dari penyesalan yang mendalam atau sekedar mengingatkan saya bahwa inspirasi, pengetahuan, dan kasih sayang datang dari segala penjuru.

terkadang, kita hanya butuh untuk sadar.

being mindful.
even with your own body.
bagaimana sebetulnya badanmu sering memberikan pesan ke kita yang terkadang dengan sombongnya kita abaikan.

listen.
and you'll realize.



someone told me that my writings are empty.
i can only say i'm sorry and am actually on my way to fill my words.
kindly help reminding me to always stick to them and to always walk the talk :)

tentang menulis

menyongsong matahari

saya bukan orang yang termasuk mudah menulis. dalam artian, jika tiba-tiba saya ditodong untuk menulis dengan batasan-batasan tertentu, otak saya akan berhenti bekerja dengan baik. geriginya langsung macet dan tidak mampu berputar dengan baik. dan mungkin hal ini banyak juga terjadi kepada teman-teman yang lain.

entah.

saya bukan juga seorang pujangga yang pandai dalam merangkai kata-kata dengan rima yang indah dan arti yang terselubung dalam bahasa tingkat sastra. sama sekali bukan. kalau saya dan pasangan sedang iseng berbalas tulisan, bahasa dia lebih tinggi daripada saya. pun dia pandai mencari kata agar ber-rima. sedang saya? bahasa obrolan sama bahasa tulisan tidak jauh beda.

entah.

dari dulu, saya sering sekali bermimpi untuk menjadi penulis terkenal. atau untuk bisa menerbitkan buku best seller. makanya saya sering sekali baca novel dan memperhatikan bagaimana novel tersebut dituliskan. dari tata bahasanya, variasi kata yang bisa digunakan, bagaimana mereka bisa memunculkan konflik yang satu dan lainnya, juga mengenai EYD. percaya atau tidak, dulu saya baca lho itu EYD hanya untuk sekedar bisa menuliskan cerita yang rapi. saya benci sekali membaca ketikan orang lain yang sama sekali tidak memperhatikan tanda baca dan pengaturan paragraf dan semacamnya. pusing.

entah.

terkadang saya merasa tulisan saya tidak bernyawa. apalagi jika dibandingkan oleh salah satu senior saya di mana tulisannya selalu mampu menggerakkan hati saya dan menimbulkan emosi yang mendalam. dan selalu bisa membuat saya merasa dekat dengannya. serasa sedang dipeluk oleh rangkaian huruf dalam blog pribadinya.

entah.

mungkin saya hanya perlu lebih banyak menulis.

dimanapun itu dan bagaimanapun itu.