Equality

Sesungguhnya saya juga kurang mengerti harus memulai kisah ini dari mana.

Mungkin hal ini bisa dimulai dari puluhan atau ratusan tahun yang lalu. Sejak akhir abad ke-19 yang lalu, wanita mulai mengkoar-koarkan apa yang dikenal dengan gender equality. Menurut para pejuang kesetaraan gender, wanita seharusnya mendapatkan kesempatan dan hak yang sama atas setiap hal yang bisa didapatkan oleh lelaki.

Debate

Hey, what up?

Nothing.

Now, don't you start telling me lies. I can feel what you feel, remember? I know something is wrong.

biasa aja

Kalau boleh jujur, saya mungkin sudah berada pada titik muak mendengar kalimat simpel itu.

“Biasa saja.”

Coba kalian bayangkan. Lagi kesel, lagi bete, lagi gak karuan mood-nya. Curhat ke pasangan dengan niatan cuma ingin cerita aja gitu mengeluarkan uneg-uneg. Eh, malah dikomentarin kayak begitu. Kayak lagi dimarahin. Berasa jadi anak paling bandel sedunia.

Bagaimana saya tidak tambah kesal?

Tetapi, bukan pasangan saya kalau tidak bicara begitu setiap kali saya mulai emosi. Meskipun seringnya saya tambah emosi.

senja.

Bukan ini sih intinya. Saya bukan mau menceritakan kalau pasangan saya ngeselin banget sedunia tapi juga ngangenin banget gak kuat. Bukan itu kok. (ngeselin ya?)

Saya hanya ingin cerita. Kok ada ya orang sesabar beliau?

Saya marah-marah, dianya santai saja. Saya lagi ngambek, dia pun santai. Saya merajuk, malah diketawain balik (ini ngeselin sih, tapi mungkin kalau dia malah ikutan marah yang ada saya tambah marah).

Tunggu, ini apa sih poinnya?

It actually got to me.

Those “biasa saja” words, it got through. Even though I still have a super long way to become that “biasa saja” person, but I think I can feel that I’m walking towards it. I guess I’m making progress.

Saya pribadi masih harus banyak belajar dalam menerima kritik, mendengarkan masukan dari orang lain, untuk menjadi orang yang lebih rendah hati lagi untuk mau terus belajar dari siapapun. Bukan hal yang mudah bagi saya untuk menerima komentar. Apalagi ketika komentar tersebut tidak sesuai dengan apa yang saya inginkan atau saya senangi. Namun, ya kita kan tidak mungkin hidup selalu hanya mau-maunya kita. Semaunya sendiri, tidak mungkin.

Semoga kita semua adalah orang-orang yang selalu bersedia untuk belajar dan terus belajar menjadi orang yang lebih baik dan lebih baik lagi. Karena kalau saya boleh mengutip ucapan Bapak Presiden RI ke-7, Pak Joko Widodo, dalam pidato kenegaraan beliau 16 Agustus 2019 yang lalu,

“Tidak cukup untuk menjadi lebih baik dari kita yang kemarin. Kita harus lebih baik dari yang lain.”

regrets

We regret things all the time. A lot of time.

And as we know, it always comes late. What’s done is done.

Then, why do we regret?
Why, even knowing that we can’t change the situation for any bit, we still have that feelings? We still blame ourselves for what happened?

through the lights..

I’m not saying that I haven’t done it myself.
I do have my own regrets.
I regretted my college life,
how I didn’t study seriously.
how I graduated without even knowing what I’d been studying the whole 4 years.
how I didn’t put enough time in socializing and making connections with my chem-eng’s friends.
how I didn’t maximize my potential, and also time, in doing my thesis.
how I felt stupid to fight for a relationship on my own.
how I wasted so much time wandering aimlessly.
how I hide behind “chose a wrong degree” and tried to run from my responsibility.
how I lived my life this far.

I don’t think I should go on the lists.

My point is, yes, I have regrets.
There are things I thought I shouldn’t have done, or said.

But looking back and also taking in where I am right now,
I won’t be here if I didn’t choose everything I’ve chosen.

I know, I know.
I might be questioning and wondering.
If I didn’t do that, where would I be now?

And yeah, that’s a whole other thing to be think about.
But from my standpoint, that’s not to be mulled over.
That’s also not to drag you down either.

Things happen for a reason.
You might not understand it yet.
The reason may not be the one you prefer.
We can always learn from it nonetheless.

vajram

writings in Javanese..

You are a diamond in progress.
Nope, nope. Scratch that.
Every human being is a diamond.
They have a light within
that's been lying dormant,
waiting to shine.
Patiently, facing pressures and tests.
Through and through.
Bit by bit.

You may whine.
You may pout.
Your destiny is still to shine nonetheless.
It's already in the writing.
Yes, you might want to run away.
To just stop and leave everything behind.
However, that would mean lying to yourself.
Neglecting your own deep desire.

No matter how hard you deny it.
You want to shine.
You will shine.
Wait, look at that smile.
You ARE shining.

RPG

Role-playing Games.

What if
we are actually just a pawn
in an RPG world?

Imagine,
how you move
how you talk
how you ask and answer
what you eat and drink
when you sleep or walk or do something
are decided by some "thing" other than you?

That you don't get to decide.
You're just a hollow vessels.

What
if?

bladibladabla

have you ever feel that you're such a failure? that everything you do seem to be wrong. seem to be unacceptable. seem below par. that nothing you do is sufficient and pleasing.

i have. for sure.

i don't say "i had" cause there's a reason for it.

perhaps this is the so-called mid-life crisis. or perhaps this is just my PMS talking.

or even, it is time for me to seriously slap my face and kick my own but and yell "MOVE! For God's sake!"

however, do i have the privilege to sulking and pouting and just pitying myself?

i don't think so. okay, for just a very tiny bit of time, i do have it. but it's not for me to stop. it's for me reflect on myself and my past and start restructuring my plan for the future.

which path should i take?

Skeptical

In this era, information is more than just accessible. It's always coming and always flowing even when you're not looking for it.
It's not just being available, it's sometimes also attacking us.

Read, Listen, Pay Attention

then you shall understand.

What life has to offer.
What life has been giving to you.

The One?

How would you know whether this person really is meant for you?
I mean, we never have this exact science and explanation of how some relationships work long terms and some don't. More often than not, we thought someone would survive the relationships while they wouldn't.

Understanding

There are feelings that words can't explain.
There are words that can't serve their role precisely.
However, we are human that has been granted a very wonderful mind.

3

I'm sorry for being such a hopeless romantic, but I just can't help it.

"for infinity and beyond."

Our journey isn't really all that sparkly bubbly roses all the time. Nope, it totally isn't all that. We aren't always that cute to each other, talking in baby language, smiling randomly, video calling in the middle of work, or doing many other adorable activity.

noise

i know it's blurry, just bear with it.

Don't you feel that this world is so noisy?
Overwhelmingly loud?

30haribercerita

@ghaniyyart on instagram

I don't remember when I started joining this movement. I think it was years ago? So basically, this year is my third year joining the hashtag.